How to Be Present In A Relationship: 10+ Practical Tips

Updated October 1, 2023  

In today’s fast-paced world, where everything seems to happen at lightning speed, many have forgotten the real value of their relationship.

But what can you do?

You need to be present.

Being present entails enjoying the moments you share with the person you love:

When you are calm, focused, and know exactly what you want.

Being present in your relationship is crucial for its happiness and longevity.

More than that, being present also means that you can face difficulties with a brand new perspective.

It’s not easy, but it can be your guide to a solid relationship in the long run.

Related Guide: How to Fix 13 Typical Marriage Problems

10+ Ways to Show Love & be Present in a Relationship

Are you wondering how to be present in a relationship?

Here are some of the most effective ways to do it.

1. Stay in the moment

Many people are guilty of overthinking, which often leads to anxiety.

Overthinking is a national epidemic experienced by 73% of young adults, and 52% of middle-aged adults experience this.1

When you are constantly overthinking, you lose focus because you will fear the future.

Being present means thinking about the here and now, not about what happened yesterday or what will happen tomorrow. 

Only when you have this perspective can you savor the moment.

Learn how to show your partner you love them.

If you are with your partner, tell them that you are thinking about what to do together for the rest of the day.

Listen carefully to their answers, and you will know if they are really with you at that moment.

2. Take your relationship seriously

If you are one of the people who get bored quickly, you will never be able to avoid the fear of losing your partner.

It may be hard to believe, but gamophobia or fear of commitment is a real thing.2

Being present is made possible when you are fully committed to the relationship

If you are not committed to your relationship and the love of your life, you will be distracted by something else no matter how hard you try.

Are you afraid of commitment?

Do you think you cannot stick with one person for the rest of your life?

If you are, then you need to correct this thinking.

Commitment is not the same as being bound or imprisoned. 

Commitment is about keeping a promise and sticking with it.

3. Focus on your partner

Around 64% of Americans are content in their romantic relationships.3

But what should you do if you’re not part of this statistic?

Unhappiness may come if you always misunderstand your partner.

One of the best tips on being present in a relationship is to get to know your partner better by observing them.

See how they act in various situations and give enough time and attention.

Focus on your partner because you need to be there for them, no matter what.

Although you cannot put yourself in your partner’s shoes, it is vital to try as much as possible. 

Focusing will help you know them better.

By doing so, you will show your love for them.

4. Know what exactly you want to accomplish

Learning how to show your partner, you love them starts with thinking of an objective that you want to accomplish.

This way, you can make the most out of the relationship.

What are the things that you want to achieve? Why do you want to achieve them?

Do you want to be together forever and give your partner the best time of their life?

Again, do not be afraid to tell your partner exactly what it is that you want to accomplish.

In the same way, ask your partner what they want to achieve. 

This way, you will better understand your partner’s intention.

5. Remove your ego

The ego is the natural killer of relationships.

Keeping your ego means you will always be in control.4

But in a relationship, you should not control anyone. 

Instead, you should let your spouse do things on their own.

Let them be who they want to be.

Remove your ego.

Only then will your partner feel that you are there for them.

6. Be there when your partner needs you

Around 33 percent of people experience extreme stress.5

Sometimes, you will be the one who needs support.

Other times, your partner will need you.

A relationship is not just about being there for each other during great moments.

The real challenge is to be there for each other during the difficulties.

A healthy relationship is one wherein you can be your partner's cheerleader, even if you are down in the dumps.

8. Give each other some space

Research has found that 29 percent of spouses say they do not have enough privacy or time for themselves in their relationship.6

This is also more prevalent with husbands at 31 percent, over wives, at 26 percent.

Remember that a healthy relationship means that you can have your personal life. 

You have to understand each other's need to interact with their own friends, family, and co-workers.

It is also essential to know how to set healthy boundaries and not be jealous of your partner and vice versa.

Setting healthy boundaries can transform your relationship and elevate your own self-respect.

9. Be realistic

Don't expect your partner to be perfect.

You have your imperfections, and the same goes with your partner.

When you expect your partner to be perfect, you are bound to feel disappointed.

Sometimes, you might also make mistakes.

Being in a relationship means that you have to be willing to work for it.

Be realistic and clear about your expectations.

Studies have proven that being realistic is more likely to make you happier.7

In fact:

37.2% of pessimistic people have a higher psychological distress level than those who were realistic.

If you are not getting what you want, be honest about it with your partner and compromise.

10. Enjoy the small things

You may miss the little things that make your relationship special when you are always busy. 

As much as you can, do things together and take the time to express your love in words.

It may be watching a movie, having a cup of coffee, or planning a weekend getaway. 

One study also proved that designating a slot every week for date night will do wonders for your relationship.8

Related: 50+ Fun & Intimate Date Night Questions to Ask your Partner

For couples who do this, divorce dropped by 7% for wives and 11% for husbands.

It doesn't matter if the dates are expensive; it can be simple.

Just make sure to have fun together.

If you do these things, you will build a wonderful relationship that will last.

Related: How to Avoid Divorce - 20 Ways to Revive a Struggling Marriage

11. Be intentional about keeping your partner happy

If you want to stay present in a relationship, you need to go out of your way to do things that will delight your partner.

For example:

A staggering 59% of women say they are responsible for more household chores than their partners.9

Why not change this for the day and let your partner rest while you take over their chores?

Related: Division of Labor in Marriage: 10 Ways to Make it Fair

Everyone must work to make their relationship better, so make an effort every day.

Do not just think that it will work on its own.

Effort and consistency are decisive in a relationship, so make sure you give your partner your full attention.

Related: 15 Best Tips to Make your Relationship Work

12. Don't take each other for granted

This is one of the reasons why so many relationships fail.

Couples often take each other for granted.

This usually happens when you get comfortable with each other.

After years of being in a relationship, you may feel like you don't have to work hard to keep the relationship healthy.

The result?

You stop being romantic and no longer do things that make your partner feel special.

You tend to take things for granted when in fact, you need to appreciate what your partner does for you.

Many people falsely believe that it’s always the man’s job to do romantic things.

However, 33 percent more men than women say that it bothers them that their partner is not more romantic.10

What does this suggest?

Regardless of your gender, you should keep the spark alive in your relationship.

You can do this in so many ways.

For example, you can take your partner out on a surprise date or take over their household chores.

Showing them that they are special to you will do wonders for your relationship.

You might also like: 20+ Intimacy Ideas for Married Couples

13. Change the way you think

Did you know that we spend 47% of our waking hours thinking about things that are not going on in our lives?11

If you have the habit of letting your mind wander, you have to correct this, or you will not be able to enjoy your relationship.

Emotions are powerful, and they can make you do things you usually would not do, such as being unfaithful to your partner.

You need to make sure that you are in full control of your thoughts.

You can do this by consciously telling yourself what to think.

When you feel like you are drifting away, you need to change this by telling yourself that you should enjoy your time with your partner.

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About the author 


Sebastian loves analyzing statistics about anything that has to do with the dynamics in a love relationship. He enjoys researching why people behave the way they do (and drinks horrendous amounts of coffee when he's in the zone).

He uses his knowledge to help couples in troubled relationships reconnect with their partners and create a perfectly imperfect relationship.

Dowload my free 14 mistakes ebook 

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