8 Scientific Ways to Improve Your Marriage Today (Infographic) + 50 Bonus Tips

We don't want to accept this harsh reality but most of us are in marriages which have a lot of room for improvement.

But there are several steps you can take to strengthen your marriage.

Today I'm sharing an infographic that talks about 8 scientific ways to improve your marriage plus 50 bonus tips below the infographic.

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Okay, so you’ve scanned through the pretty little pictures and notes, but here’s the real deal on all of them:

1. Praise your spouse EVERY DAY and SHOW APPRECIATION

If you have 5 positive interactions for every negative interaction with your spouse, the happiness factor increases considerably, according to Dr. John Gottman!

Liz's take:

Show your spouse how much they mean to you!

This one is rather simple: we ALL crave appreciation and praise.

I’m not saying you have to worship the ground they walk on, because to be frank, we ALL have flaws.

What I’m suggesting here is a simple appreciation for the little things they do, and honoring them for all they mean to you and bring into the relationship.

Your husband taking out the trash can for you while you do the dishes…THAT’S his way of doing something small to make your life easier, the least you can do is show him that you really appreciate it.

Exclusive tip for women: check out one of my highly recommended resources "What Men Secretly Want" for getting on a deep emotional level with your husband. No BS, only really valuable insights.

2. Little acts of kindness have a huge impact

The 4 side-effects of kindness: it makes you happier, boosts heart health, slows down aging and it’s also contagious.

Liz's take:

Go ahead and give your spouse the last piece of cheese!

What? Why cheese?

You know, my husband and I, we just love cheese.

Especially one that has little chili flakes in it. (My mouth is watering, I think I'll get one right now)

The other day, we were having breakfast and there was a good piece left which we divided evenly in two.

I was really hungry and 5 minutes later my piece was gone.

I really love that cheese!​

But I saw that my husband still had one bite left on his plate (he's that kind of person who saves the best for last) and he noticed that I kept staring at it.

What do you think he did?

He stood up, grabbed his last bite of cheese and gave it to me without saying a word, and started to do the dishes.

I was stunned and really couldn't believe what just happened.

This might not be a big deal for you but it really is for me, as you can tell.

After all, I still remember it.

A little bit of kindness really goes A LONG way!

3. Play together to stay together

A great sense of humor is one of the top 3 stated reasons for a successful relationship by couples who had been married at least 45 years.

Even reminiscing about laughing together improves relationship satisfaction in couples considerably.

Liz's take:

If laughing boosts your personal well-being, just think of what it can do for your relationship!

Having fun with your partner helps bring you closer together, and keeps you closer in the long run.

Here’s the science behind it:

The activities associated with falling in love release oxytocin, the hormone that relaxes blood vessels and lowers blood pressure.

It also acts as a neurotransmitter in the brain, deepening the feeling of connection and trust.

The reason you fell in love with your partner in the first place was because he or she provided you with the most joy, not necessarily the best options for bill-paying and child-raising!

Get back in touch with the fun things you used to do back when you started dating to re-activate the fun factor in your relationship.

Even if it’s just for 10 minutes a day, stop being the rule-maker and start creating a safe space where your partner can come out and play with you!

4. Try new things with your spouse

Trying something new with your spouse floods the brain with dopamine and norepinephrine, which are the same brain circuits that are ignited in early romantic love.

Liz's take:

This isn’t just about raunchy positions in bed, although I’m not ruling that one out altogether.

When I talk about “new things”, I’m referring to things that can help make the connection between the two of you even greater!

Always wanted to go skydiving?

Grab your spouse by the hand and have them join in on the adventure with you.

This builds great memories and massively impacts the intimate connection between the two of you.

Variety is a key element in keeping the love flame burning high, and one partner’s silence about something new they would like to do can easily drive a wedge in the relationship.

5. Get back into the dating game...with your spouse!

Couples who keep on dating each other are 3.5 times more likely to be and stay happy compared to couples who don’t play the dating game anymore.

Liz's take:

Dating is NOT just for singles!

Getting away from everyday life, even if it’s just once a month does three major things for your relationship:

It fuels the romance fire

It helps you reconnect and grow closer to one another

It puts you back on track with your number one priority – your relationship!

By dating your spouse, you’re reminding them that they are the number one priority in your life, and in the process, strengthening your relationship.

6. Fight it out!

One of the major obstacles in relationship is the fact that people tend to suppress their anger, which leads to resentment.

But (good) fights actually help couples to grow together on a much deeper level.​

Liz's take:

I’m talking about learning the skills to be able to fight a good fight, one that doesn’t destruct, but rather reinforce the relationship.

What you really want to avoid is the concept of holding onto your anger, because essentially, it builds up to act like poison to the entire relationship.

Whenever you get into a word-tumble with your spouse, always remember to stay respectful towards your partner.

Listening to your partner is equally as important as voicing your own frustrations, compromise and be understanding of their point of view.

7. Make time for intimacy

Over 50% of couples asked in this study, are not satisfied with the frequency of having sex.

​However, just by increasing your sexual activity from once a month to once a week, boosts happiness by the same amount as getting paid an extra 50,000 $ a year

Liz's take:

In between raising the kids, housekeeping, the bills, work…LIFE for that matter, you still have to ensure that you set aside special time just for sex.

Your sex life is a major role player in the overall joy factor of your relationship.

Sure, we’d all love to have spontaneous sex on the kitchen table where nothing was planned, but reality kicks us in the face here, which is why you have to accept the idea that sometimes you’ll just have to schedule it.

I know:

It sounds much less romantic, but scheduling sex can have a great element of anticipation and excitement added to it, knowing that it’s on the schedule!

If you’re really opportunistic, even a boring dinner at home can lead to some kitchen counter adventures!

8. Touch each other…A LOT

Touching is vital to a happy relationship.

Full body connection increases connection, closeness and a feeling of safety!

Liz's take:

Did you know?

There’s actually an ideal number of hugs and kisses we should receive daily in order to be happy and healthy!

The formula for the amount you need was devised by psychotherapist Virginia Satir.

She found this:

“We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth."

Why all the touching?

Well, hugging and touching releases oxytocin, the great stress fighting hormone.

More oxytocin leads to less stress, which obviously leads to happier people and happier couples overall.

Your affectionate behavior can also say a lot more than your verbal words ever can!

Touching helps bridging the gap between real life and what happens in the bedroom, and keeps the intimacy level high, even when you’re not making love.

Affection can make you feel emotionally connected to each other, which is why you need to touch, hug and kiss your partner as often as possible.

These are really simple, yet effective exercises for improving your marriage.​

Just do one step at a time and you will see a positive change in your relationship.​

Further Reading:

50 Bonus Tips

What's next?

Did you enjoy my tips to improve a marriage?

Then, please...​

1. Give it a share or like 🙂

2. Leave a comment and tell me what you're going to do from that list today.

3. Check out the incredible group interview in which I asked 58 life and marriage coaches to share their top 3 tips for a happy marriage.​

About the Author Elizabeth Davis

With more than twenty years experience in the field, Elizabeth Davis is a well known and respected relationship adviser. Through her site she offers free, no-holds-barred counseling, friendship and support to anyone experiencing difficulties in their relationship. Let her help you to a life filled with the unconditional love and laughter you deserve.

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