How To Make an Ex Want You Back – 4 Foolproof Methods to Rekindle the Flame

Updated October 9, 2023  

Only one pain beats the pain of falling in love, the sheer agony of breaking up. No matter whether you instigated the breakup or were on the receiving end of the fatal blow, the pain tearing through your heart is nothing short of torture that affects every part of your life.

When you hit a relationship crisis every instinct screams at you to somehow, anyhow, make things right between you, but often this can lead to a permanent breakup and a complete loss of hope for a reconciliation.

If you want to learn how to make your ex want you back you have to take control. There are four fool-proof ways to make your ex want you back, or at the very least get them thinking about you again. If you want an in-depth guide helping you to get your ex back you should read my Ex Factor Guide Review

Method 1 – Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

I know that you are dying inside and that keeping your distance and playing it cool is the very last thing you want to do right now, but believe me, you need to stay well clear of your ex.

#   Do Not phone, email or text message them. Ever. Not even to say how was your day? have you got my toothbrush? or I love your new haircut (that last one is guaranteed to send you straight to Creeps-ville in their mind).

#  Avoid the places and events where you know they are likely to be. Yes, you can still go to the Bon Jovi concert as long as you can guarantee you are sitting across the stadium from your ex and there is little-to-no chance of seeing them or vice versa.

#  Do Not hassle friends and relatives by trying to gather information about your ex.

#  Under No Circumstances beg or plead, give presents or get down on your knees with promises of change. Desperate-ville is only a little distance from Creeps-ville and neither destination will make your ex want you back.

Related: 49 Long Distance Relationship Statistics

Method 2 – Change it Up

I know you want to sit around watching TV, eating Doritos dipped in ice cream, and barely raising a foot off the couch, but that is the last thing you should be doing. What will you achieve? I guarantee that you will only end up with a few more pounds on your belly and a lot less life. You certainly won’t attract the attention of your ex – or anyone for that matter.

One of the fastest ways to make your ex want you back is to get off your butt and get a makeover. Nothing says “I’m doing well without you, thanks” better than actually looking like you are on top of the world.

The best part is that your ex doesn’t even have to see you with their own eyes for the effect to be noticed. Honestly, grab a tan, whiten your teeth, throw some dye through your hair, add a few new clothes, and not only will you feel a million bucks, but just wait for the reaction from your mutual friends! If you get super encouraged then go all out, hit the gym, lose pounds, tone up, and feel as fantastic as you look.

Method 3 – Get On With Your Life

You want to get back with your ex, but you need them to feel the same way. Do you think that looking like the wreck you feel on the inside will do that? No, you don’t. No one wants a relationship based on pity and you deserve far better than that.

It is bizarre that some people think that the only way to make your ex want you back is to go all out in some disturbing display of self-loathing and ‘poor me’ attention-seeking. Let me ask you when was the last time YOU wanted to spend time with someone wallowing in self-pity? Face it, you didn’t and neither does anyone else.

Self-pity does not make other people want to spend time with you because it is an ugly, destructive emotion that makes everyone around you feel bad.

To even stand a chance of your ex wanting you back you need to make others feel good. Instead of dwelling on your troubled relationship, keep smiling, go out with friends of both genders and try to at least look like you are enjoying yourself.

Method 4 – Be Prepared To Fail

Be prepared that you may never rekindle the fire of this relationship. You cannot make someone love just because you have intense feelings for them. So while you should not give up hope you still need to be prepared for the fact that your plan to make your ex want you back may not work.

At least by putting all the steps above into practice your heart will heal faster and you will be better placed to open the doors to a new and better relationship with someone more deserving of you.

Recommended Reading: 42 Getting Back with your Ex Statistics

  • This is absolutely true. I remember making such an effort to try and save my marriage when it was past the point of repair by lowering my value through co-dependency, neediness, begging, even crying, she is now dating someone else, that was 2 years ago. I then met my beautiful girlfriend dated for 7 months and we broke up 2 weeks ago. Although it has been very painful and brings back the same feelings of my divorce, I have learned to do the opposite from my 2nd marriage (I am a sucker for pain lol) The point is, we need to be in a mindset that yes, it may be done forever, she will be sleeping with or dating other guys. If you walk out with your head high, not being needy and working on yourself both internally and externally analyzing every aspect of why the relationship failed and what your contribution was and then learning and growing, they will notice and either be attracted to this new and improved you and make a decision or not. Either way you will be with her (with timing, luck and some work) or a better person who loves themselves which will attract (not looking for) a better person suited for you. It all starts with you, a mind set of abundance, accepting the pain, being disciplined and respecting the space that your partner wants. In time they may contact you and when they do you will be in a frame of mind where you will be indifferent and valuable. To get anything back weather its your partner or a new lover you MUST move forward and let go. Only bed sheets should be soft.

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    About the author 


    Sebastian loves analyzing statistics about anything that has to do with the dynamics in a love relationship. He enjoys researching why people behave the way they do (and drinks horrendous amounts of coffee when he's in the zone).

    He uses his knowledge to help couples in troubled relationships reconnect with their partners and create a perfectly imperfect relationship.

    Dowload my free 14 mistakes ebook 

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