What Men Secretly Want Review: The Respect Principle By James Bauer

Updated August 29, 2023  

According to James Bauer, there is only one thing you need to become irresistible to men.

It’s not good looks nor humor.

James calls it The Respect Principle.

I got very curious when I first heard about this principle. Therefore, I decided to buy the program, test it, and write this What Men Secretly Want review.

Before I dive into the details of Be Irresistible: What Men Secretly Want, let me show you the research study behind the respect principle.

The Respect Principle Summary: What Is It All About?

The Respect Principle by James Bauer is based on a study conducted by Shaunti Feldhahn in 2006, in which she asked 400 men this question:

the respect principle survey results

In other words:

The majority of men would rather give up being loved than lose your respect.

At the same time, she asked women the same question, and it turns out that they think exactly the opposite.

Women would give up respect for the feeling of being loved and admired by him.

Think about it yourself:

How would you have answered?

Here’s a short video where Shaunti explains the principle:

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More Information

Is This Course A Good Fit For You?

Firstly what this course is not:

What Men Secretly Want is not a how-to guide to change or manipulate men the way you want them to be.

This is a course for women who want to find and keep high-quality men to settle down with.

It’s for you if you want to find “the one” or want the companionship and deep emotional connection that comes with having a committed relationship.

If it’s your goal to get a man to commit, desire you, and stop pulling away every time it’s about to get serious, you need to be willing to put in a lot of hard work to see results from this book.

I mean that. This is solid, practical information you have to use to see the results.

It’s not a quick fix.

This is why What Men Secretly Want mostly focuses on changing and improving your inner game before you can start using it.

It’s time to dive a little deeper into the course and find out precisely what James Bauer can do for you.

Be Irresistible: What Men Secretly Want Under The Microscope

This is a screenshot from the member's area:

what men secretly want program overview

There are nine main chapters to this course.

It’s a concise course; there’s no filler here – if you want information but are tired of having to flick through endless pages before you find the bit you want, you’ll love this course.

Here are the nine chapters included:

1. The Single Most Powerful Factor That Will Determine Relationship Success

This topic covers the Respect Principle and why men suddenly pull away from you without any apparent reason.

2. Your Secret Barometer For Success

Do you know that your man craves your respect?

To him, your respect is love.

Find out how you can make your man feel more respected by changing little things you do – then watch as he reacts in entirely different ways than usual.

You will be starting to actively repass situations where you feel that he reacted a bit weird to something you said or did, and instead of not knowing what happened, you will see exactly what made him upset.

3. Double His Desire For A Committed Relationship

Are you starting to feel like he’s losing interest?

You are grasping at straws, trying to find a solution to keep him around?

This chapter will discuss how you should respond if he becomes distant.

4. Stop Being Interesting and Get Interested

What a horrible title. What’s wrong with making yourself someone fun to be around?

There’s nothing wrong with that, but according to research by Dr. Martin in 2007, men see “being funny” as a male thing and is not a character trait they are looking for in a woman.

“When forced to choose between humor production and humor appreciation in potential partners, women valued humor production, whereas men valued receptivity to their humor,” said Dr. Martin.

5. Get A Guy To Commit: Increase Attraction While Setting Standards

Want to be more attractive to your man? Every woman does, let’s face it. We love to feel like our partner wants us.

But at what cost?

In this chapter, you will learn how to become more attractive while laying down standards and boundaries,

That will make him find you more attractive and respect YOU more.

6. How To Unlock His Emotions and Get Him To Open Up

As much as popular belief points to the contrary, men are complex.

They tend not to express their emotions as much as women.

In this chapter, you’ll discover the keys to unlocking that silent, distant head of his and get him to open up to you.

7. How Can You Find Quality Men?

This chapter will teach you how to look for someone right for you.

If you’re tired of chasing losers, scumbags, and, more commonly, men who don’t seem to have emotions (they do!).

If you’ve not yet started dating, this chapter will help you avoid the worst men before they break your heart.

8. Meet Your Avatar

It does not only contain a success story from Amy Webb, but the main content is also the detailed questionnaire you’ll be able to use to figure out who's your perfect man and how you can find him.

If you’ve seen ‘The Ugly Truth’ with Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler, don't worry – we’re not going to turn you into her with lists of necessary attributes.

It’s good (and attractive!) to know what you want.

9. Places and Situations To Avoid

So now you know who you want. But where do you look for him?

This chapter will tell where not to look and what situations prevent your ideal man from approaching you.


Woman applied the respect principle, sitting with her man sitting in a cafe drinking coffee

The Art Of Intrigue: How To Make Him Crazy For You

This book is another product James sells for $47 but has included free with this course as a valuable bonus.

This guide alone is worth the price tag, honestly. Want to learn how to interest and shoot his curiosity through the roof? It’s all in here.

The Active Ingredients Of Love

Sometimes, it’s hard to know what love is. The deep meaning of it. What makes up a loving relationship?

James has talked and worked with women from all walks of life and has distilled the key concepts needed to have a loving and happy relationship (and life!).

Pricing And Availability

You can get Be Irresistible: What Men Secretly Want for 47$.

A 60-day money-back guarantee also protects the purchase.

It’s a no questions asked money-back guarantee.

So if for any reason you’d like to get a refund, shoot James Bauer an email, and he will send you your money back.

If you want to get started right away, click the button below:

The Good

  • This is one of the most effective courses for meeting, dating, and forming a happy relationship with a man.
  • It’s not based on some weird theory; it’s based on research studies and psychology.
  • James Bauer is a well-known relationship coach who concentrates on giving helpful and, at the same time, actionable advice (if you don’t actively do something, nothing will change).
  • Very easy to follow. James leads you step-by-step through the course and never leaves you guessing. He provides real-life examples that you can relate to, which I found very important in helping to understand the concept.
  • It’s not a 200-page read which is quite refreshing compared to the usual blabla in such courses.
  • Value for money. The Respect Principle works if you put it into action.
  • It comes in PDF format but also as an audio guide if you prefer to listen

The Bad

  • His chapter titles can be pretty provocative, but the content isn’t.
  • Sometimes, it may feel like you need to do all the changing to get into a deeper, more affectionate relationship with men. But as a matter of fact, the only thing you can change is yourself. It always starts with you.

Alternative Product

Also from relationship coach James Bauer: His Secret Obsession.

Read my His Secret Obsession Book Review here.

Wrapping Things Up

Be Irresistible: What Men Secretly Want is hands-down one of the best courses you can find to help you attract and, more importantly, keep a man by understanding the way he wants to be treated.

It will show you how to become an irresistible woman (in men’s eyes) and teach you step-by-step how to turn yourself into a woman that men want and desire.

But prepare yourself for hard work.

It requires a lot of time and effort to get the results.

So think of your goal, and I’m sure you’ll find the motivation to pull through!

Couple in love - Beginning of a Love Story

I hope you enjoyed my What Men Secretly Want review. Be sure to check out the official website.

  • How can I begin to apply the respect principle in my relationship when there is clearly no respect given back from my boyfriend ? Am I just suppose to be submissive & give him everything he wants & compromise everything so he’s content while I’m over here feeling less than ?

    • Hi Brooke,

      This is definitely not the way the respect principle works. It’s not about giving up yourself for the well-being of your boyfriend.

      It’s about showing him the respect he deserves as a human being and that also includes not being disrespectful to him.

      For example, making fun of him in public.

      I totally understand that it’s hard to show respect for a person who behaves disrespectful but this is exactly what creates the vicious circle:

      You don’t want to show him your respect because he isn’t respectful and your boyfriend probably feels exactly the same way towards you.

      Being respectful doesn’t mean to be submissive or giving him what he wants, how does that show him your respect anyway?

      James does a pretty good job at teaching you how to apply the principle, so you might just want to check it out and see if it helps.

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    About the author 


    Sebastian loves analyzing statistics about anything that has to do with the dynamics in a love relationship. He enjoys researching why people behave the way they do (and drinks horrendous amounts of coffee when he's in the zone).

    He uses his knowledge to help couples in troubled relationships reconnect with their partners and create a perfectly imperfect relationship.

    Dowload my free 14 mistakes ebook 

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