According to James Bauer, there is only one thing you need to become irresistible to men.

It’s not good looks, nor humor.

James calls it The Respect Principle.

I got very curious when I first heard about this principle, therefore, I decided to buy the program, test it, and write this What Men Secretly Want review.

Before I dive into the details of Be Irresistible: What Men Secretly Want, let me show you the research study behind the respect principle.

The Respect Principle Summary: What Is It All About?

The Respect Princple by James Bauer is based on a study conducted by Shaunti Feldhahn in 2006, in which she asked 400 men this question:

the respect principle survey results

Let me put these results in other words:

The majority of men would rather give up love, your love, than lose your respect for him.

At the same time, she asked women the same question and it turns out that we think exactly the opposite.

We’d rather give up respect than the feeling of being loved and admired by him.

Think about it yourself, how would you have answered?

Here’s a short video where Shaunti explains the principle:

Is this course a good fit for you?

Firstly what this course is not: What Men Secretly Want is not a how-to guide to change or manipulate men the way you want them to be.

This is a course for women who want to find and keep high quality men to settle down with.

It’s for you if you want to find “the one” or simply want the companionship and deep emotional connection that comes with having a committed relationship.

If it’s your goal to get a man commit and desire to you and stop pulling away every time it’s about to get serious, you need to be willing to put in a lof of hard work on yourself to see results from this book.

I really mean that. This is solid, practical information you have to actually use to see the results. It’s not a quick fix.

This is the reason why What Men Secretly Want mostly focuses on changing and improving your inner game before you can start using this proven step-by-step system for becoming irresistible to men.

It’s time to dive a little deeper into the course and find out exactly what James Bauer can do you for you.

Be Irresistible: What Men Secretly Want under the microscope

This is a screenshot from the members area:

what men secretly want program overview

There are 9 main chapters to this course. It’s a short and concise course; there’s no filler here – if you want information, but are tired of having to flick through endless pages before you actually find the bit you want, you’ll love this course.

Here are the 9 chapters included:

1. The Single Most Powerful Factor That Will Determine Relationship Success

This topic covers the Respect Principle and why men all of a sudden pull away from you without any obvious reason.

This chapter was very eye-opening for me, personally. It sensitized me to the situations where I am being disrespectful to my husband (that still happens but it’s easier to address the problem when you know what the problem is right?)

2. Your Secret Barometer For Success

Do you know that your man craves your respect? To him, your respect is love. Find out how you can make your man feel more respected, by changing little things you do – then watch as he reacts in completely different ways than usual.

You will be starting to actively repass situations where you feel that he reacted a bit weird to something you said or did and instead of not knowing what happened, you will see exactly what made him upset.

3. Double His Desire For A Committed Relationship

Starting to feel like he’s losing interest? Grasping at straws trying to come up with a solution to keep him around? This chapter will discuss how you should respond if he starts to become distant.

4. Stop Being Interesting and Get Interested

What a horrible title. What’s wrong with making yourself someone fun to be around?

There’s actually nothing wrong with that but according to research by Dr. Martin in 2007 men see “being funny” as a male thing and is not a character trait they are looking for in a woman.

“When forced to choose between humour production and humour appreciation in potential partners, women valued humour production, whereas men valued receptivity to their own humour,” said Dr Martin.

5. Get A Guy To Commit: Increase Attraction While Setting Standards

Want to be more attractive to your man? Every woman does, let’s face it. We love to feel like our partner wants us.

But at what cost?

Learn in this chapter how to become more attractive, while laying down standards and boundaries, that will make him not only find you more attractive but also respect YOU more.

6. How To Unlock His Emotions and Get Him To Open Up

Men are complex creatures, as much as popular belief points to the contrary. They tend not to express their emotions as much as women.

In this chapter, you’ll discover the keys to unlocking that silent distant head of his, and get him to open up to you.

7. How Can You Find Quality Men?

If you’re tired of chasing losers, scumbags and more commonly men who just don’t seem to have emotions (they do!), this chapter will teach you how to look for someone that really is right for you.

If you’ve not yet started dating properly, this chapter will help you to avoid the worst men before they break your heart.

8. Meet Your Avatar

Not only containing a success story from Amy Webb, this chapter’s main content is the detailed questionnaire you’ll be able to use to figure out whose your perfect man, and how you can find him.

Don’t worry, if you’ve seen ‘The Ugly Truth’ with Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler – we’re not going to turn you into her, with lists of necessary attributes.

Just remember, it’s good (and attractive!) to know exactly what you want.

9. Places and Situations To Avoid

So now you know who you want. But where do you look for him?

This chapter will tell where not to look, and what situations are preventing your ideal man from approaching you.


Woman applied the respect principle, sitting with her man sitting in a cafe drinking coffee

The Art Of Intrigue: How To Make Him Crazy For You

This book is actually another product James sells for $47, but has included free with this course as a valuable bonus.

This guide alone is worth the price tag, honestly. Want to learn how to interest and shoot his curiosity through the roof? It’s all in here.

The Active Ingredients Of Love

Sometimes, it’s hard to know what love really is, the deep meaning of it. What makes up a loving relationship?

James has talked and worked with women from all walks of life, and has distilled the key concepts needed to have a loving and happy relationship (and life!).

Pricing and Availability

You can get Be Irresistible: What Men Secretly Want for a heavily discounted price of 47$.

The purchase is also protected by a 60-day money-back guarantee. It’s a no questions asked money back guarantee so if for any reason you’d like to get a refund, you just need to shoot James Bauer an email and he will send you your money back.

If you want to get started right away, click the orange button below:

The Good

  • This is one of the most effective courses for meeting, dating and forming a happy relationship with a man.
  • It’s not based on some weird theory, it’s based on research studies and psychology.
  • James Bauer is a well-known relationship coach who concentrates on giving useful and at the same time actionable advice (if you don’t actively do something, nothing will change).
  • Very easy to follow. James leads you step-by-step through the course and never leaves you guessing. He provides real-life examples that you can relate to which I found very important helping to understand the concept.
  • It’s not a 200 page read which is quite refreshing compared to the usual blabla in such courses.
  • Value for money. The Respect Principle really works if you put it into action.
  • It comes in PDF format but also as an audio guide if you prefer to listen

The Bad And The Ugly

  • His chapter titles can be quite provocative, but the content itself isn’t. The advice is sound and actually works.
  • Sometimes I felt like it’s all my fault and that only I need to change something to get into a deeper, more affectionate relationship with men but at some point I realized that I wanted to change something and you cannot change someone else anyway. Change starts with yourself.
  • The course isn’t pretty, but James’ made this all about the content. Does it really need to be wrapped up in a pretty bow if it helps you understanding men and really have a happy relationship with your man?


Be Irresistible: What Men Secretly Want is hands-down one of the best courses you can find to help you attract and, more importantly, keep a man by understanding the way he wants to be treated.

It will show you how to become an irresistible woman (in men’s eyes) and teaches you step-by-step how you can turn yourself into a woman that men want and desire.

But prepare yourself for hard work.

It requires a lot of time and effort to get the results you want.

So just think of your goal and I’m pretty sure you’ll find the motiviation to pull through!

Couple in love - Beginning of a Love Story

I hope you enjoyed my What Men Secretly Want review. Be sure to check out the official website.

  • How can I begin to apply the respect principle in my relationship when there is clearly no respect given back from my boyfriend ? Am I just suppose to be submissive & give him everything he wants & compromise everything so he’s content while I’m over here feeling less than ?

    • Hi Brooke,

      This is definitely not the way the respect principle works. It’s not about giving up yourself for the well-being of your boyfriend.

      It’s about showing him the respect he deserves as a human being and that also includes not being disrespectful to him.

      For example, making fun of him in public.

      I totally understand that it’s hard to show respect for a person who behaves disrespectful but this is exactly what creates the vicious circle:

      You don’t want to show him your respect because he isn’t respectful and your boyfriend probably feels exactly the same way towards you.

      Being respectful doesn’t mean to be submissive or giving him what he wants, how does that show him your respect anyway?

      James does a pretty good job at teaching you how to apply the principle, so you might just want to check it out and see if it helps.

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