It doesn’t matter what your career is:
Keeping a man interested is about being a good salesperson.
It’s about making men feel great about being with you, whether it’s your first coffee date or your 20th wedding anniversary.
Keeping men interested is all about figuring out what makes them tick.
To ensure you do the right things and check off the right boxes, I’ve compiled the ultimate scientific tips to keep your man interested.
Scientific Ways to Keep Your Man Interested
Do you feel your man's interest slipping away?
Or maybe you want to compel him to see you as the most irresistible woman he knows?
To do this, you need to master the following tips.
1. Conditioning is key
How often does your man give you affection?
Or says he loves you?
When was the last time your man showered you with gifts?
If your man does something you like, immediately give him a reward.
This can be a massage, a delicious meal, or anything your time or budget allows.
This process is called Operant Conditioning, and it will make him want to please you even more.1
More importantly, he’ll develop a deep interest in keeping you pleased.
Rewarding him encourages a repeat performance.
A man who knows he’ll get a sweet kiss or a nice treat each time he does something you like will never be short on extra effort.
Operant conditioning is not just about the reward but also about punishment as a response to some behaviors.
If you practice this, he’ll soon learn to be committed to you in the best way possible.
2. As much as possible, try to look like your man
Don’t panic – this tip doesn’t mean you need to wear your man’s basketball shoes or suit.
Many studies have revealed that individuals tend to be more interested in someone who resembles them.2
Whether it’s because of developmental, psychological, cultural, or social causes, a man loves it if you mirror how he looks.
When men spend time with people who look like them, they feel a sense of comfort.
And if a man feels comfortable with you, he’ll be more drawn to you.
3. Go with someone that shares the same personality as you
Looking like your man isn’t the only thing you need to watch out for.
Couples who act alike are more interested in their relationship, according to a study that assessed how similar people were to their partner, personality-wise.3
Be more like him in a figurative sense.
This can mean sharing common interests, similar mindsets, and a way of seeing life that he recognizes.
4. Try not to make your man sweat
Weird tip, right?
But the science behind this will shock you.4
A huge part of keeping your man interested is to ensure women don’t respond to him since it may open up opportunities for temptation.
Because sweat can arouse women and cause other responses, curbing your man’s sweat is a neat trick.
So how do you do this?
Is he not allowed to do a morning job or work out while dating you?
Of course not.
Encouraging your man to wear breathable fabrics and deodorant will suffice.
5. Try to be positive
While looks will surely keep your man interested, it’s not all about that.
A 2010 study of over 2,100 male university students proves this.5
For this study, the participants were divided into three categories.
The first category received photos of women, and they were asked to rate whether they found these women attractive or not.
The other groups were given the same photos but with information about women’s personalities.
One group’s information about the women was negative.
For the other group, it was positive.
The researchers found that the group which received positive personality information found the women more attractive.
So whether you’re still on your 2nd date or your 200th date.
You can avoid saying bad things about other people in front of him or not make a big deal out of small things.
Positive people are more attractive, so practice being one, and your man will surely notice.
6. Make eye contact
Did you know that men are more receptive to high levels of eye contact than women?
This is because they are visual creatures.
We’re not asking you to challenge your man to a staring contest if you feel them becoming less interested.
All we’re asking is for you to make eye contact.
In 1970, social psychologist Zick Rubin studied 158 college couples and observed how much time they spent making eye contact.6
Then, he made them fill up a survey.
It was found that the more eye contact these people made, the stronger their relationship was.
But why is this the case?
Staring into one’s eyes increases feelings of intimacy.
Don’t forget to look at him and smile.
This will make him feel closer to you and make him feel more interested in the relationship you’re building.
7. See him more often
Studies have found that the more you see a person, the more they will be attracted to you.7
Regardless of how good-looking you actually are or their first impression of you.
After all, there’s something nice about constantly feeling a familiar friendly face.
I’m not saying you should act stalker-like and show up at his office, favorite restaurant, or club.
That’s 100% creepy behavior.
For instance, imagine you were invited to a get-together that you would not usually go to.
After finding out he would be there, you put on your best outfit and head to the party to pique his interest.
8. Be vulnerable
Sharing your authentic self with someone can be extremely scary.
But this can create interest which can help build closeness and intimacy.
One study found that self-disclosure can make people like you, even in non-romantic relationships.8
Don’t try to tell him all the skeletons in your closet in one go.
Just open up a little.
Think about it this way:
Even the most basic questions have layers you can peel back.
If he asks you how was your day at work, tell him about how your day went and then insert a tidbit about why you think your career is meaningful to you.
Don’t complain for 15 minutes straight.
Just say something short and expound if he probes more about it.
9. Be an adrenaline junkie
Are you an adrenaline junkie?
Doing something thrill-seeking with someone you’re interested in will make him like you more.
Experiencing an adrenaline rush together mimics arousal, so interest is guaranteed to follow.9
This will make you not only like each other more, but it’s also a great bonding experience.
Regular physical activity is the way to go if you're not adventurous.
Whether it’s yoga, weight lifting, jogging, or tennis, doing these activities together will make him think of you as fun and energetic.
Plus points if you bring him to an activity he hasn’t tried before.
10. Touch him
People are naturally drawn to touch people they like.
Studies have proven that when you touch someone, they will have a higher chance of feeling attraction toward you.10
This is because touch causes a chemical reaction that changes how people feel.
Touch causes an oxytocin rush that makes you feel more bonded with each other.
Sexually touching him isn’t the only kind of touching that can make him attracted to you.
If you’re not a couple yet, be subtler when touching him and assess if he reciprocates your touch.
Even short physical contact can do wonders in making him interested.
It’s worth noting that being affectionate with someone for the first time is scary.
You don’t want to come on too strong, too weak, or even too late.
It’s a balance that you’ll have to find yourself with time.
11. Just be confident
Confidence is an essential component to attracting a man.
Science has even found that confidence makes you more attractive than anything else.11
The feeling of security you give him makes him want you.
This will make him think that you’re a person who has everything he wants.
Being confident does not mean that you should put yourself up there as if you’re better than everyone else.
Confidence just means you’re worthy of being admired.
So what’s the best way to display confidence?
The secret lies in carrying yourself.
Are you sure of yourself?
Do you make it a point to be in high spirits even after a bad day?
If you answer yes, then you’re on the right path.
Worth Reading: 15 Ways to be Happy with Yourself (and in your Relationship)
12. Laugh together
Have you ever heard of the saying “laughter is the best medicine”?
It’s true, especially regarding keeping a man’s interest.
Laughing is a sign of relaxation and a great way to break the ice.
It’s a social cue that tells people that they are comfortable with who they are with.
Laughing together with someone makes you like each other more.12
However, this doesn’t necessarily mean that you two need to be cracking jokes all the time.
Simple things like sharing a funny anecdote, complimenting his sense of humor, or even laughing at funny videos together can make him see you as someone he can have fun with.
13. Say his name
Having a conversation with a guy is one thing, but being interested in him is another.
Use his name whenever you can when speaking with him.
This is because people tend to feel more connected to people when they hear their names.13
Doing this tells him that he’s valuable to you subconsciously.
Anytime you get to say his name, you’re associating yourself with him.
This will make him feel special, and he’ll want to impress you more.
14. Feed his hero instinct
Hero instinct is a relatively new concept in relationship psychology.
Coined by relationship expert James Bauer in his book His Secret Obsession, the hero instinct is a massive driver in keeping a man interested.
The term refers to the need of men to feel needed, respected and live a meaningful life with purpose.
After all, most men have an inherent desire to be seen as a superhero.
So what can you do to trigger your man’s hero instinct?
First, challenge him.
You can seek his advice or make him do your favorite workout.
You can also start looking up problem-solving activities or board games to play together.
Another way to trigger his hero instinct is to call him when you need help.
In an age where women are told to rely less on men, turning to a man for help doesn’t necessarily mean letting go of your independence.
It means you are willing to accept help from time to time.
Men love it when they feel like you rely on them.
This isn’t just an ego boost but also makes them feel helpful and useful.
So how can you tell your man you need help? Use these phrases below:
- “I need your muscles to help me open this can on pickles.”
- “Can you help me fix my fire alarm?”
- “I would love it if you helped me set up new shelves.”
Of course, don’t forget to thank them wholeheartedly.
You can use phrases like:
- “I really appreciate you installing these shelves for me. It would take hours for me to do it alone.”
- “Thanks for giving me a ride. I feel so special that you braved the traffic for me.”
When you encourage a man to unleash his masculine energy, it makes him feel like you see his authentic self.
This isn’t about letting him become a “bad boy,” but allowing him to honor his most crucial parts, so he becomes more comfortable with you.
More importantly, men have to feel like they are rising to the challenge every time, especially in a relationship.
If he doesn’t meet this need, he will feel less interested.
Think about it this way:
Your man can’t trigger his hero instinct alone.
He needs your help.