It is a popular conception that most men’s difficulty with the whole feelings thing has been very bothersome for their female partners.
Women, in general, are structured to be adept in having long conversations about feelings. They do not have any difficulty in letting other people know how they feel about something or someone.
However, a discussion about feelings can be frustrating for most men because men are not wired to become efficient in expressing themselves emotionally.
Unlike many women who can spend hours—even days—talking about feelings and emotions, the majority of men are not exactly emotionally articulate. It is not that they do not want to talk about what they feel.
It is just that they do not know how to express their feelings in such a way that their partners would not get offended or disappointed. In addition, most men also hate it when their feelings are being explored or attacked without their permission.
When their partners start talking about their feelings, most men feel that they are being put under extreme scrutiny by their partners.
In order to better understand their male partners, women should keep in mind that men have a very different way of expressing their emotions.
Most men express what they feel in a very straightforward manner, the same way they state facts. For some women, however, they tend to become rather dramatic when they tell their male partners what they feel.
Moreover, they also expect their male partners to join the drama fest when they express their feelings. When their men do not get into the drama, women think that their partners are being extremely insensitive, and this will lead into another bout of arguments.
You should understand that men hate drama. As much as possible, most men avoid emotional talks because they do not want to become involved in a rather dramatic discussion about their feelings and their emotions.
They do not exactly want to shy away from letting their partners know how they feel; instead, they just want to talk about their feelings without the risk of being overly emotional.
Although men still have a long way to go when it comes to being in touch with their feelings, it does not exactly mean that men do not have an emotional awareness.
Men feel deeply too, but they like to keep it to themselves most of the time and will rather do something to resolve their feelings instead of discussing it.
When you feel that your man has shut down emotionally and lack the ability of expressing how he is feeling about a certain issue, you must not define him by what he is lacking.
Contrary to popular belief, men can actually share their feelings, you just need to provide them the right atmosphere and enough time for them to do so.
If you want your man to express how he is feeling for you, stop giving him the mental torture. Women have their own way of talking to each other that most men will never understand.
If you want to get your man to share his feelings, speak in a language that he will understand. Most women like to say things even when they mean differently.
If you want to tell your man about something, speak in such a way that he would not have to guess or seek to find a different meaning.
When you are feeling upset, let him know that you are upset, instead of saying that you are okay. Do not speak in codes so that your man can express his feelings for you without the risk of being misunderstood.
Most men are uncomfortable with sharing their feelings for you because they feel that they are being judged or scrutinized. If you want to know what your man is truly feeling, make the atmosphere comfortable by using humor.
Make a joke out of a situation without the risk of embarrassing him or making fun at his expense. Laughter makes men relax and gives them the impression that you are not asking about his feelings to turn it into a huge argument.
Communication does not need to become serious even when you are talking about your feelings. As long as the situation is appropriate for humor, you need to make him feel that he is not being pressured to discuss what he feels and sharing his emotions with you is actually fun.
Want to know the #1 thing that men secretly want in a relationship? Check out What Men Secretly Want by James Bauer to discover the secret and, more importantly, learn how to apply the principle.
With more than twenty years experience in the field, Elizabeth Davis is a well known and respected relationship adviser. Through her site she offers free, no-holds-barred counseling, friendship and support to anyone experiencing difficulties in their relationship. Let her help you to a life filled with the unconditional love and laughter you deserve.