How To Tell If Your Spouse is Cheating on You: Top 4 Signs

By Sebastian

Updated January 20, 2023  

Most of the time, you probably sense that something is off with your relationship when you find yourself asking if your spouse is cheating on you.

However, although you know that you should trust your instincts, you become so busy with life and being a loving spouse that you tend to neglect and become unaware of your doubts about your husband’s or wife’s loyalty.

Although it is important that you know how to curb the chances of infidelity in your own relationship, it is also crucial that you know how to tell if your spouse is cheating on you.

Having a cheating partner is a huge concern that haunts many married individuals. The thought of your partner having wild, passionate sex with another man or woman can make your skin crawl.

Knowing the surefire signs that your spouse is having an affair is necessary so that you will not get too paranoid thinking if he or she is besmirching your marriage vows with infidelity.

In addition, becoming aware of these red flags is also important so that you will not accuse him or her wrongly whenever you have doubts about your relationship.

Here are the signs you need to look for to be able to tell if your spouse is cheating on you.

Related: Infidelity Statistics: Cheating in Relationships Exposed

Lack of Intimacy or Wanting to Try New Things in Bed

A sudden and unusual increase in distance is often a clear sign that your wife or husband is having an affair.

More importantly, when he or she is no longer interested in having sex with you, and that is not just because they are tired or you reek off alcohol and cigarettes, then there might be a problem.

Remember that when he or she is not getting it at home from you, then your spouse is possibly getting it from someone else.

If he or she shudders at the thought of having to caress you sensually, then it is likely that your partner is being caressed by someone else.

Aside from lack of intimacy, you can also determine infidelity if your husband or wife decides to try new things with you in bed.

A likely scenario is when your timid and naïve wife suddenly wants to do the suspect-police role play with you, and she wants to play the police.

For women, if your husband suddenly wants you to give him a good head inside the theater when it has been clear since the start of your marriage that you do not want to go down there in public, then there is a possibility that someone has been giving him glorious blowjobs other than you.

Sudden and huge changes in sex habits are a red flag that you have to look out for when having doubts about your partner’s loyalty.

Overprotective of their Privacy

Being too protective of his or her privacy can be a sign of infidelity. If your husband or wife is very protective of their cell phone and social networking accounts, and they are getting late night phone calls and text messages from a “friend,” then that is the time that you have to be suspicious.

Although it is important that couples must maintain a certain amount of privacy, it can become worrisome when all of a sudden your spouse does not want to share the things that the two of you usually share openly.

Working Late Even on Weekends

When your husband or wife has a sudden change in his or her regular schedule, there is no reason to become paranoid.

However, when he or she is starting to missed dinners and important events such as your anniversary or your kids’ birthdays because of his or her work, then something is probably up.

Most of the time, it is important that you respect how your partner values his or her career.

However, when he or she is neglecting or putting aside matters about your family and marriage in exchange for his or her career, such as going to unexplained business trips and regularly working late at night, then that is the time you need to talk to him or her about it.

Spending More Time with His/Her Single Friend

Before you married your wife or husband, you know that he or she has a lot of single male and female friends.

There is no reason to panic when they spend some of their leisure time with his or her set of friends since he or she lets you have enough bonding time with your friends as well.

However, something is probably wrong with your relationship when your spouse is spending more time with his or her single friend of the opposite sex.

More importantly, there is a need to become a little suspicious when that friend has been single for ages because he or she is a notorious cheater.

Read Next: How to Sincerely Apologize to your Partner

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About the author 


Sebastian loves analyzing statistics about anything that has to do with the dynamics in a love relationship. He enjoys researching why people behave the way they do (and drinks horrendous amounts of coffee when he's in the zone).

He uses his knowledge to help couples in troubled relationships reconnect with their partners and create a perfectly imperfect relationship.

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