The nastiest thing about love is that it is not everything that you have learned and seen in romantic comedies. People do not simply fling themselves into each other’s arms as if looking for romance is as easy as solving a grade school Math problem.
You do not just go out the door holding a box filled with assorted goods hoping to bump into that guy with a wicked sense of humor, cleft chin, and washboard abs—essentially, the man of your dreams.
Things in real life are obviously not the same as in romantic comedies. Men do not just magically appear in your doorstep when you are in your most desperate to find your one true love.
Realizing this, however, does not mean that you have to totally closed your door on romance and on finding the right guy for you.
If you are afraid of love and commitment because you feel that every guy is just like that bastard of an ex you have spent your life with for years, then you might lose your chances of really finding the proverbial The One.
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The dating world for most single people is an apocalyptic wasteland where every man and woman has to fight to find love. For some people, dating is likened to a game, and you can only win and find your match if you know how to play by the rules.
Some people are scared of diving headfirst into the dating scene because they do not know the rules of dating.
They are so afraid of the dating world that they operate like a dog backed into a corner, ready to bite.
However, the only true rule about dating is to just be yourself. Knowing who you are and being confident with the person that you have become is sometimes more than enough to stay alive in the dating world.
Remember that men who really want to find their match hate posers and girls who pretend to be somebody else. If you are delving into dating, stay true with who you are.
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Love is imbalanced. That is the truth. For every relationship, there is always someone who loves more. There is always someone who gives more and forgives often.
If you are too afraid of finding romance because you are scared that the man you will love will like you too much or like you too less, then you just have to keep in mind that love is unequal most of the time. However, this should not discourage you because as humans, our feelings are always evolving.
Love moves in completely mysterious ways, so you should not really worry about it being an imbalanced and every-changing force.
More importantly, in love, it does not necessarily mean that the other person loves you less. Most of the time, he is expressing his love to you in the only way that he can.
You have been in love before and you got hurt. You were broken and damaged and felt like you will never be the same person again. Now that you are single, you made a vow to never fall in love again because it will only open up the threshold that will attract your past hurts.
The negative feelings you have had with your past relationships can become a centrifugal force in preventing you from opening yourself up to a new romantic relationship.
Whenever you meet someone, you are afraid that the ghosts of your broken relationships will haunt you, and your hurtful experiences in the past will be repeated again.
However, when you love someone, you are truly opening yourself up to become vulnerable, because only in exposing your vulnerability will you allow the other person to make you feel truly loved and adored.
Do not be scared that love will bring you pain. Love hurts, but it turns you into a person that is stronger, bolder, and fiercer in the process.
Whoever said that love is all sunshine, rainbows, pop ballads, and pastel-colored skies must have been living inside a fairy tale.
Love is scary because it is upsetting, maddening, heartbreaking, and most of the time, it is shitty. Yet you also need to know that love is terrifying because it is beautiful and it is real.
What triggers your fear of the dating world? What prevents you from going out there and letting yourself meet people for you to find the love that you truly want? Let us know in the comments.
With more than twenty years experience in the field, Elizabeth Davis is a well known and respected relationship adviser. Through her site she offers free, no-holds-barred counseling, friendship and support to anyone experiencing difficulties in their relationship. Let her help you to a life filled with the unconditional love and laughter you deserve.