Falling in love sucks.
When you fall in love your insides get ripped to shreds by excitement, adrenaline and anxiety, but through the turmoil you find a connection with a soul other than yours.
This bond makes all the pain worthwhile and for a moment you understand the real meaning of inner peace. You let your guard down and the protective walls you carefully constructed around your heart crumble to dust.
Yes, love does this and when you are in a relationship nothing else matters, but then the relationship ends and suddenly you find that your heart is exposed. Every memory, word and action sends barbs of pain tearing through your soul.
This is the risk you take when you venture down the path of love, if it pays off the ‘happily ever after‘ is worth a million times the initial agony
But what if your relationship doesn’t work?
How do you recover from a break up?
Even worse – How do you learn to love again?
Relationship crises come in all shapes and forms and each has it’s own trigger that is specific to your relationship.
Whether there has been a lack of communication, irreconcilable differences or even infidelity, the causes of your split are infinite. The good news is that there are just as many ways to learn how to recover from a breakup.
The first step is to realize that you are not alone.
Literally thousands of people a day go through the same thing that you are going through right now, and wanting to know how to recover from a break up.
They want their life back, their memories back but most of all they just want the pain to stop. The Internet means that no matter what hour of the day or night you need help, information and support you can always find a shoulder and information to help you through.
It also means that there is extensive research available and two methods have been proven to help you recover from your break up.
1 – Take Your Time
You know the saying ‘time heals all wounds” ?
It is 100% true. It’s also the hardest thing in the world to do.
Every fiber in your body is screaming at you to rush in and fix it NOW! You need things to be back the way they were, the sooner the better. But your relationship is not a headache that disappears with a painkiller, or a broken window that just needs a new pane of the glass.
No matter who initiated the break up or who did what to who, you have anger, betrayal, hurt, guilt and a million other emotions flooding through the veins of you and your partner. Just as a pill cannot mend a broken window, there is no quick fix for emotional pain. Time is the only option.
If you rush in and try to make it all better, or keep picking at the wound in your heart by re-enacting scenes and arguments, then you will end up with a festering wound on your heart that takes not only takes longer to heal, but that also kills all chance of saving your relationship.
Time allows your heart to mend so you can face the good times and the bad without pain governing your thoughts and actions. How much time it takes to recover from a break up depends entirely on your relationship.
For some the timeframe may be a week, but for others the healing process may require months, some take years.
2 – Counseling, A Second Opinion.
Forget your pride and all the mumbo jumbo that people think when the word counselor is mentioned. When it comes to learning how to recover from a break up taking the advice of a counselor can be a relationship saver, especially if you are trying to save a marriage or long term relationship.
Your counselor is a trained professional who understands your natural emotions, the complexities of life and how people cope with the emotional disappointments that life throws at them.
Counselors with degrees have an extensive amount of knowledge combined with a broad range of experience in helping others in your situation.
A counseling session provides the opportunity for you to share from your heart and mind in a safe, non-judgmental and nurturing environment. Your counselor will just listen and provide insights or practical suggestions designed to specifically to help you recover from your break up.
Your counselor may also be able to identify any areas of your life that may have contributed to your relationship breakdown.
When you are in a relationship it is not about what YOU need or want at this moment.
Your emotions got you into the relationship and they are the cause of your break up. You need to give yourself and your partner time and space so you can both recover from the break up and see the relationship for what it really was.
The good, the bad and the ugly.
Only then can either of you move forward into a better, more loving relationship.